My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
