this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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