The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
