Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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