i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
