Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
