hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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