sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
