If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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