hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
The Olympian is in my bed
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
