i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
