I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
