You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
