How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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