the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize