In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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