Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
