New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
