There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
