I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
My pussy is not your playground.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
