No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
