Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
