We're like a lot better than the average bears
You're so nebulous sometimes
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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