Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
