there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
