Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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