shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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