Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
