Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
