Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
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