Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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