Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
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I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
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It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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