i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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