I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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