Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
