Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
