You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
