i wish there were pregnant emoticons
time to smoke my breakfast
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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