I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
