escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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