That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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