If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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