Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize