Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
This is not my ceiling
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
How does one acquire holy water?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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