ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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