Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
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The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
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Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
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