Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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