What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize