textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
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I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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