I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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