So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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