I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Come share oat with me in your robe
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
