Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
