What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
