How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
