bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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