something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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