I molested 6 butterflies tonight
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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