I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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