im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
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He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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