my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
