Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize